It's not that insomnia struck me again because I fell asleep around 12. I'd say my heart was calling out for a chance to talk to her before I actually went to sleep.
I crashed while waiting for her to return home. Unfortunately, 45 minutes after I fell asleep, she had come home. And by she, I mean Cynthia. All of a sudden my eyes open wide as I'm in search for some kind of clue that she had come home. She had. She IMed me and I had failed to respond. Dammit. I respond back to her in hope that she's still awake. No response. Dammit.. An hour later I notice she's still not idle, so I try again. No response. Dammit...
She had been at her fraternity's dance. I worry over stupid things. I'm allowed to right? I mean dances are events where guys tend to try to grind up on girls correct?
Photos of her night were up on facebook. She looked happy. I'm glad. She looks kind of red. I wonder why.
I'm still up wasting time. No one's on to conversate with. No one is on to play games with. Logged onto Blogspot. Turned on my winamp and play Mike Posner's A Matter of Time.
"You got your head in the clouds, the stars in your eyes. Everyone can see it but you. And I don't know how you believe your own lie. No one wants to tell you the truth. It's just a matter of time, before it all comes crashing down. The harder you try, the more we can see the real you, the real real you."
The only reason I'm still up is because I'm hoping that she wakes up so I can speak to her. I've become dependent on her. Waking up in the morning doesn't feel nice when it's been done without speaking with her the night before. I've become completely dependent on her.
it is now 6:45AM and she is still not waking up. I guess I should just give up. It's a weekend. She should get sleep. Maybe I'll catch her in the morning.
Oh BTW, i hope you have a nice move back to LA Trung.
SHE AWOKE! my night/morning is not ruined.
Good night everybody.
thanks for the well wishes, le. the move to la was shitty as usual, but i was under the influence most of the time so it was bearable in that sense.
ReplyDeletethis dependency is bad, but i know exactly what you mean by it. i still am, ish. it feels like my limbs have been cut off, or something like that.
i'm sure theres a stronger, more apt metaphor for how i'm dealing with it, but right now, i can't come up with what it might be.